omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
