whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
