Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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