You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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