sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
