im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
