you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
