We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
