I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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