Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
