I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
