I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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