i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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