im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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