nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
