why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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