Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
