i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
