Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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