It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
