my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
