know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
