I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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