So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize