We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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