How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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