I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
