Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
