My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
