just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
