Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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