every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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