I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
