I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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