It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
