I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
