It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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