I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
