He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
