they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
