Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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