Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
