I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pants are for mortals
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
