so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
