My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
