Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
