i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
