I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
