batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
