Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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