it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
